Finding Home Again: Lessons from Life Abroad in Korea

Reflections on Returning Home

After four years, two cities, countless laughs, and just as many tears in South Korea, I made the difficult decision to return to the U.S. This was not an easy choice. When I started this blog, my goal was to update it regularly with experiences, highlights, struggles, and reflections on my growth. Unexpectedly, life became busier than I could have imagined.

Within the past five years, I’ve uprooted my life, moved to Busan, South Korea, moved to Seoul, and then uprooted my life once again to move back home to America. My life has been in constant motion, rarely giving me time to stop and think about anything in the long term. It was a refreshing pause from my life in America, teaching me to live in the moment and fully embrace my surroundings.

I know what you’re thinking: “I thought she was going to stay in Korea forever.” Honestly, me too. There was a moment while living there where I truly believed I could set roots and live comfortably in Korea. But with every era of my life in Korea, my heart and mind changed. I went from being sure of myself and my future in Korea to finding myself in a very dark mental space during my last few months there. When my mental health is at risk, I ask myself these questions:

• What’s contributing to this negative mindset?

• How long do you think you’ll stay there?

• How can you find a way out?

  
  

After months of going back and forth in my own mind and heart, I found the answers to these questions, and I didn’t like the answers.

The Challenges of Making Friends Abroad

The environment was contributing to my negative mindset because suddenly, I found myself surrounded by people I didn’t feel safe with—not physically, but mentally and emotionally. Living abroad makes forming friendships easy out of necessity. However, it also means you might accept relationships that don’t align with your values. For the sake of avoiding loneliness, I sometimes ignored red flags and befriended people I wouldn’t have connected with back home. While many of my friendships in Korea were supportive and genuine, others left me feeling anxious and misunderstood.

For the most part, I surrounded myself with people who had similar morals and values, and I felt safe and supported in those friendships. But there were others that constantly made me second-guess everything I did and said, afraid of being misunderstood or misrepresented. I’d find myself second-guessing everything, constantly on edge during social gatherings. This wasn’t the person I wanted to be. Eventually, I had to make the difficult decision to cut ties with some friends. It wasn’t a perfect solution, and maybe it hurt them (honestly, I don't think they cared), but I needed to put my mental and emotional well-being first. For someone who loves deeply, these choices are especially hard, but they were necessary.

Finding the Right Time to Leave

When I sat down to think about how long I’d been feeling this way, it felt much longer than it really was. What I experienced in the span of three months felt like a year or more. Was I okay with remaining in the same cycle if it meant keeping the life I loved in a city I grew to consider my home? This was a reality check I didn’t want. I was having the time of my life—exploring the city, enjoying the food, nightlife, and recreational activities—but my mental health was suffering. In those last few weeks, I threw myself into experiencing everything I possibly could before leaving.

Looking back, I see now that my struggles stemmed from a mix of factors—distance from family, minor medical emergencies complicated by a language barrier, financial instability due to exchange rate dips, and the weight of evolving friendships. Together, these pressures took a toll on my mental health, leaving me with insomnia and mounting anxiety.

Lessons Learned

Returning home was bittersweet, but it felt like stepping into the warmth of familiarity and love. I’ve learned so much from my time in Korea:

• The importance of having a solid foundation of values and boundaries.

• How to stand up for myself and navigate challenges with resilience.

• Even in difficult times, I’m capable of thriving and finding joy.

  
  

Some of my best days were spent walking through the beautiful city, enjoying solo coffee dates, and savoring the incredible food. I don’t regret my move to Korea for a moment. The experience shaped me in ways I’ll carry for a lifetime. Though leaving was hard, I know it was the right choice for me to make.

I wouldn’t be the person I am today without my time in Korea. Although I came back for a lot of different reasons, I returned as someone who makes sure to take care of her mental health, someone who values the people that value her, and someone open to new experiences and adventures. Even though I had to say goodbye for now, Korea will always hold a special place in my heart.