A Girl's Best Friend
Can I just take a few moments to gush about my mom? Because let me tell you, I am so lucky. When God created me, he knew that I would need someone like her to stand by my side and give me the push I need to do the things that I have always wanted to do. She’s encouraged me to follow my dreams, to do what I want, and to not care about what anyone thinks. She is so unapologetically herself.
I need to be more like her. We could not be more different. But we're also very much alike.
Let me explain.
My mom is spontaneous. She can make a big decision without looking back. She is a loose planner. She has a general idea of what she’d like to do but doesn’t always have things fully thought out. My mom doesn’t care if people are disappointed in some of the choices she’s made or the things that she’s stood up for because she doesn’t give a shit about your opinion or anyone else’s. Bottom line, the woman is a badass. She believes in herself, she’s a hard worker, and has never stopped dreaming big.
And then there’s me. If there is no plan, I will probably be a ball of anxiousness until I create some type of structure. I am calculated. I need to know what I am getting myself into before I jump and decide anything, whether it be to move overseas or to get my hair cut three inches. I am afraid of the unknown. I love pros and cons lists. I often fall into the trap of caring about what people think of me. I overthink, I overanalyze and I have to think ahead.
We look at life and come up with different perspectives and answers for some of the things we have experienced together. Wouldn’t you say we are so different? Luckily, some of my mom’s gutsiness has rubbed off on me. Over the years, I’ve grown bolder. Maybe not in a loud roar type of way, but in the decisions that I make. I quit my job and found one in South Korea. I broke off an engagement that would have led me to a miserable marriage and a miserable life. And I’m no longer afraid to use my voice. The funny thing is that she didn’t have to sit me down and actually teach me these things. I learned from her example.
As I prepare myself for the next phase of my life, I have been thinking about my mom’s life journey a little extra. She moved to a foreign country in her late teens and has learned to navigate in an unfamiliar environment. Now, it’s my turn. There are so many things that have crossed my mind as I get ready to take this next step and I often feel so unprepared. But I’ve come to realize that she’s already given me everything I need.